Sadly, I faced the untimely death of my husband at age 39. With inexplicable, excruciating, and unbearable pains, I had to face my fears, anxiety, shame, confusion, and hopelessness as a Christian. My mind waged wars on what I have done wrong to God to have allowed this to happen to me. My three children were all below twelve years old. I felt like I was thrown in a dark tunnel with no end at sight, it was a drastic change to my personal life, family life, and societal status for myself and my children. I never saw myself getting through life without my husband, and my children without their Dad. The thought of having to cope with life alone, especially raising my children alone was a huge obstacle I couldn’t see myself getting out of the way, especially without a job. I was not sure I could help myself in any way, let alone my children. It was tough looking ahead to what life had in stock for us.
Our Story
Blessed (gratefully praised and adored) be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts and encourages us in every trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Loss is a part of life, and a part of being alive in an imperfect world. Everyone will go through it at one time or the other. The loss of a loved one is painful beyond descriptions, you barely can have words to explain the feelings. I do not think anyone can expect the depth of the emotional and spiritual agony that accompanies grief. Life may lose its meaning, with no sense of worth. The confusion, loneliness, emptiness, and burden that comes with a change of life plans, could be so burdensome that sleep is never part of the daily regime. Those feeling are normal when we grieve, the good news is that you will not feel this way always, it gets better by the day, or rather you get used to the pains.
Having been in this for over 18 years, with practically little or no human supports, I can say that I went through the school of the Holy Spirit, which was a bit tough and lonely for me. I can advise that the best support is a group of other people who have also gone through the same or similar experiences, you need others' support. As I painfully experienced it, I determined to help as many people as I can reach go through their healing season, to make life easier for them.
With the help of God through prayers, it is possible to rise above your grief without getting consumed. You can transit from grief to grace, and from mourning to joy, the joy of the Lord.