You will likely experience many emotions at once. Grief emotions are not orderly, but are more like a tangled ball.
For the next few days, I will list out some that I personally experienced, and some that are expressed by people. This is to let you know that your feelings are normal.
You may feel:
Abandoned, Afraid of facing emotions, Ambushed by grief, Anger with others, self, loved one, and / or God, Anguish, Annoyance, Anxiety, Apathy, Avoiding Church, Avoiding grief, Avoiding thinking about the death, Being harsh with others, Betrayed, Bitterness, Blame, Can't pray, Can't talk about loved one, Change of priorities, Comparing your grief to other people's, Compassion, Complaining, Concerned about your family member, Confusion, Consumed by grief, Crisis of beliefs, Crying, Dazed, Denial, Depending on God, Depression, Desire for justice, Despair, Devastation, Disbelief, Devastation, Disappointment, Disbelief, Discontentment, Discouragement, Disorganized, Disoriented, Distracted, Diving into work, Don't want to go on, Drained, Drawing closer to God, Dreadful.
Someone very close to me that has gone through the loss of her husband once told me: "will you be the first to lose a husband, why are you so cranky"? Some selfish and insensitive people that are more interested in you giving them attention despite your feelings will not feel you unfortunately. Some people around you will not understand you at all, whether they have been through grief or not.
Thinking you don't want to go on is normal (it is a temporary feeling) . But do not entertain suicidal thoughts that is not normal. If you do, please seek spiritual help around you.
The fastest way to healing from all of these is to sincerely turn it over to God. Verbalize it and let Him know you need His help.
2 Corinthians 12:9 KJV
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
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