You need critical emotional care. Seek help from close friends or relatives that you see genuine compassion in. Some can carry you for sometimes, while some will give excuses for not being available to attend your pity parties. The church would have been a safe place that welcomes hurting people. If you have one like that, then you are in a great church. I will advise you get someone who is genuinely interested in your wellbeing.
The reason this platform was set up is mainly for us to have shoulders to cry on. I know how difficult it is to paddle through a muddy river of grief.
From experience, people that have never worn your kind of shoes wouldn't know how it hurts. I got the most hits from the church group, unfortunately. Remember, no church congregation is perfect. You may have been let down by the church recently or in the past. Yes, the church is like a hospital, everyone there has one problem or the other to be fixed, yours is only obvious because death is involved, and that throws you in the open. But we still have genuine kind hearted people there. God would have packaged your angels for you. Pray that you find them, and you will be amazed at His divine provisions.
People around you believe you should 'move on' like two days after. Get to others who have been through similar situations, and it's easy to connect, and rejuvenate. If you are a veteran in this business, please take it easy with people that come to you for solace. We have different levels of grace to go through grief.
Accept trusted offers of help and support. You can't be an island.
Let yourself be loved.
Galatians 5:14
"The entire law is summed up in a single command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself'".
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